Its Ok to Suck at First

I really love this video of Ira Glass, host of the popular (read: fantastic) radio show, This American Life because he gives hope to the hopeless. 

For example, I want to be a painter. Badly. I love the idea of the quiet time with the empty canvas, the intense color combinations waiting for my hand, the finished effort that becomes a living element in its own right. Love the idea. But I'm fearful my first few (dozen?) paintings will really suck-thus exposing my true inability to create art with paint and canvas and forever dash my dream of becoming famous ;) 

But, I gotta say, listening to this award-winning host makes me think anything is possible..

Even if you don't have the time to listen to the whole video (its only a few minutes) you must listen to a clip of him from his 8th year in broadcasting (he was 27 then). It starts about halfway through the video (2:41) and it actually made me laugh out loud, its that bad. 

And yet, Glass and team have now won numerous awards and 1.7 million listeners tune in weekly to hear their emotional, humorous, and very interesting stories. 

So, the moral of the story is: If you suck, but you love what you do, keep it up. Who knows? There maybe a Peabody waiting for you at the end of the tunnel. 

A Caterpillar With Patience

You know when you've been musing on something and out of nowhere a perfect quote appears to wrap up your thoughts in pretty wrapping paper and tie it off with a pretty silk ribbon? 

Ya, that happened to me yesterday.

Musings as of Late

As most of my readers are probably members of the raw community, you know how it is when you start on this raw journey you begin to feel more and more like an onion. Not smelly, per se, but "one with layers." And as we leave out heavily processed and refined foods from our diets, our systems become cleaner and less cluttered. Food does not sit around taking up space. Nor  does it 'numb' us. As I looked out the window of a local coffee shop yesterday, I couldn't help but think that all the people walking by were probably zombies. How much power and potential brews within each of them, unrealized? How numbed are we by our own habits, or influenced by corporate advertising, relatives, peer groups?

Numbed and Dumbed

Numbed. It reminded me of a conversation Philip McCluskey often shares with those interested in juice feasting. Philip observes that not only does raw food remove the costume that camouflages negative feelings and makes those feelings observable, but juicing leaves you totally naked. The food consumed by the average American is heavy, processed, refined, and preserved. 

For anyone who has experienced a "food coma" you know how this quality (and sheer quantity) of food makes us feel. We become zombies! And in the long run, when we can't hear our inner guidance because its suffocated with mashed potatoes and drowning in gravy, we become easy targets for advertisers, who encourage us to consume more, more, more. 

Wow. It all kinda comes together doesn't it? When we're cooked fooders (in an irresponsible kind of way) we can't think/won't think for ourselves, so corporate America/Mom/fill in the blank thinks for us. Numbed and Dumbed. 

Transformation

So, you decide thats not how you want to live, and you begin to change your habits. A few weeks of green smoothies and energy soups and you begin to feel. As in, intuit. Touching things like table tops is a new experience. You smell flowers like bees see them (or so you imagine). You begin to Love everyone. I mean really feel. Thats the delicious honeymoon. And then...

You begin to feel the other stuff. Ready? The self-doubt, the guilt, the blame, the self-destructive patterns return this time un-masked. But there's no Pizza Hut to put a cap on this glowing glaring raw emotion. So, in a sort of sink-or-swim knee-jerk reaction, we return to the muffin. Just this one. Because we aren't in the position to deal with the newly released emotions. And then we're off the raw wagon.

What happened? 

Well, it takes more than a night for the caterpillar and you should expect it to take more than one night for you to fully become the raw diva (divo?) you want to be. Sure, Mr. Monarch transformed overnight, but c'mon his name is Monarch ;) 

Goodness knows I have an all or nothin' pattern engraved in my brain synapses somewhere. If I'm not the best then I don't want to do it, and if I can't do it all, I won't do any. (Am I 6 yrs old or 22? Sometimes I'm not sure) But if I've got this 'All or Nothin' habit then I'm guessing some of you do too. So we try again and again, badly wanting to be the "raw foodist" that will bring us everlasting joy and happiness. In our delight we ignore warnings from raw folks like Philip. 

Remember that perfect quote I promised with the wrapping paper and pretty ribbon?

As promised, I send you off with this divine excerpt from Marianne Williamson, author of Return to Love:

"We must face our own ugliness. We often must become painfully aware of the unworkability of a pattern before we're willing to give it up. It often seems, in fact, that our lives get worse rather than better when we begin to work deeply on ourselves. Life doesn't actually get worse; it's just that we feel our own transgressions more because we're no longer anesthetized by unconsciousness."
—Excerpted from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

much love, 

Natanya

Let Go and Let Live

Earlier this week my computer hard drive failed completely. Everything that was on it is now gone. Forever. Documents, photos, music...gone.

Yes I probably should have backed up my files..etc. But then I would have missed out on this most amazing lesson in letting go...

Part of the fun this week was telling my friends about what happened and watching them practically burst into tears on my behalf! I watched as their anxiety levels rose right before my very eyes when they imagined losing everything. But while my friends wanted to commiserate, I truly found the experience liberating. Why hold greedily to the past when there is a beautiful future waiting for my creative energy and intention to lovingly sculpt it into reality?? Of course I want to hold onto the memory of special moments that bring me pleasure. But I don't need a computer when my mind is capable of that! But even more important to me than the memories is the lesson that every day is a gift to reinvent who I want to be in this moment. If there are pictures of friends I want back, let me go for a visit and take new photos. Who knows? Replacing my hard drive might be the cause for some serious mischief! :D

Let go and Let Live. Let us not be tethered to the past just because we have cool ways to log and blog our lives. There are no boundaries in an ever expanding Universe...Why limit ourselves to only what has been when what could be is so much more?

That is my personal quest now, and my challenge to you. This moment, what can you let go of that leaves space for your continued expansion? In the end, isn't that the definition of freedom?

much love,
Natanya

Relationships

Relationships have been on my mind lately - so naturally, I have been thinking. A lot. In the past year I've known some who have dated around, some who have acquired a boyfriend, some married, some who've experienced dead-end first dates, witnessed excruciating break-ups, and met some recently divorced. So many on the up and down roller-coaster and for what?

The question I posed myself was: What are relationships for/Why do have them/What is the "right" relationship for me/What kind of partner is best? (Yes thats all one question.) After so much discussion, observation, contemplation, experience, and even experiments, the conclusion as of yet eludes me. But thats OK. I've so enjoyed being present for the "roller-coaster" of ups and downs and the lessons each peak and valley holds. I'm single and in a really good place. In a place of opportunity, potential, surprise, delight, love for all, and especially love for MYSELF. Here are some of my favorite tips to help you be happy where ever you are and whomever you're with:

1) The ups and downs are only as high or as low as you make them. When something happened to me recently that others saw as devastating, I saw it as a blessed opportunity for growth. Instead of feeling a lack of the positive qualities of myself, I felt proud of my new found strength and character. Imagine what it can be like the next time you feel "rejected" that instead you might feel as if you were "set free." Feel the liberation, the excitement, and relish the blank slate.

2) Nothing ever goes wrong, it is always a perfect unfolding. I hear my girlfriends complain about not finding the "perfect" guy NOW. My mother found her "perfect" mate. And she was 47. Had they met any earlier and she might not have paid him any mind. So it is that life brings to us whats appropriate for this moment. Why expect to receive something now, that you're not ready for? If you're sure you're ready for that "one" and they haven't arrived, I suggest taking a long look inward and really invest some time in asking yourself if thats what it best for you now. You might be surprised at the answers! I know I was.

3) Count the positive aspects. So often, its easy to get bogged down in the day to day, nitty-gritty. That happens when we turn our attention away from the exciting, positive, happy moments and focus on the stuff that makes us anxious, frustrated, or upset instead. Think of the 5 people most important to your day to day life. Then, think of 3 positive qualities/characteristics about them that you love and/or admire. Before the next time you see this person or talk to them, remind your self of these positive qualities and watch your relationships transform! Focusing on their positive qualities brings out the best in you and them and elevates your interaction. Do this consistently and the people you find irritating will either vanish completely for find more positive ways to interact with you. Try it!!

4) Make a list. There is nothing quite as amazing as creating your perfect mate on paper and then having the pleasure of meeting them in person. Its happened to me more than once and for many others as well. Don't hold back! Write out everything that's important to you from the color of their hair to the way they treat their mother. This is the opportunity for you to create your very own 'Male order catalog' (teehee! or the equivalent) and send in an order! If and when I experience a break-up I get a chance to take stock and revise my list. The more refined it becomes the clearer in my mind my perfect mate becomes. Its a win-win.

5) Love yourself first and most. Its when you see value in being you that others begin to see your truth. Recently I've been taking the steps to become the kind of person that my ideal mate would find attractive. If he is actively involved in community and in the arts and in school and so on, then I find ways to join those circles. Not only am I investing in myself and having fun, but I open the door to actually meeting men that are like my 'ideal!' Pretty cool huh? :)

But what do I know? I'm just enjoying the ride and trying not to take anything too seriously. A tip though, the more your practice Love, the better you get!!

much love,
Natanya

Book of Gratitude

Hi All, 

Its nearly a quarter to 3 am as I type this but this realization hit me too hard not to post it now. 

How often have you gone to bed worrying about an event from the day? A fight with a family member, being late to a meeting, etc? How many of us take those last precious moments of consciousness to be really truly grateful for the life we live and the people and events we encounter? The answer is only a few.

I now intend to be different than the "norm."

By my bedside I have a small bounded book that says "Dreams" on the cover meant for recording my dreams immediately upon awakening. Instead of documenting dreams, from now on I'm going to use it as my Book of Gratitude. Each night just before pulling up the covers to fall asleep, I'll document the moments of my day that stand out as precious jewels. They can be simple or grand, but by writing down each moment, or person, I will be affirming to the universe that this is what my life is about - this is what I want more of. And if I'm ever having one of those "blah" kind of days, a simple peek back into the Book of Gratitude will be all I need to find my alignment with Source and the feeling of love for all. 

Here's a little Jewish wisdom (I was raised Jewish) on gratitude that I thought was noteworthy. If you keep aware, you can probably find sources extolling gratitude all over the place? Why not make it a game tomorrow? ;)

"Gratitude has been considered an important spiritual concept by religious traditions from time immemorial. Judaism is replete with expressions of gratitude: the Shabbat and holiday liturgy includes numberous Psalms of Thanksgiving. Modeh Ani, the blessing Jews are prescribed to utter upon awakening every morning, is a statement of gratitude for the very breath we breathe. The Blessing of Thanksgiving ("Birkat Hoda'ah") which is recited during the Amidah prayer is as powerful a liturgical statement of gratitude as we are ever likely to find:

'...we thank you for our lives entrusted to your hand, our souls placed in your care, for your miracles that greet us every day, and for your wonders and the good things that are with us every hour, morning, noon and night...'"

- passage from Shalom Rav, a blog by Rabbi Brant Rosen

So to inaugurate the Book of Gratitude, I'll make tonight's entry here:

I'm so grateful and appreciative of the beautiful, clear, warm weather; for the invitation to spend the night out with friends; for a goodnight text message from a faraway friend and his helpful hint for feeling well under stress. And lastly for the opportunity to turn a "blah" day into a wonderful lesson of Gratitude. :)

Try this for a week and see if you don't start smiling for no reason other than you can! :) 

good night all, today has been lovely.

much love, 

Natanya aka lovingNRG

Following Your Intuition

Intuition.

Recently I've been aware of multiple (albeit small) synchronistic events. I like to describe them as my inside jokes with the universe. As if the universe and I had been hanging out and started talking about Armadillos at the zoo and then later that day I pass by a store called Armadillo Music (a real store!) and then in the evening the discovery channel is showing a series on armadillos too. You know, nothing seemingly of consequence except that its a significant sign that joyful focus can highlight the cooperative nature of the universe. When was the last time you really payed attention? To how you are feeling, to the intricate pattern leaves make against a blue sky? To the abundance of universe all around us?

Its so easy to get lost in the shuffle of "poor me's" and "too bads" and "oh wells". This week, I'm intending to focus on experiencing more "Gee willagers!" and "Isn't that amazing?s" and "thats awesome!s" and I've realized it comes down to following your intuition. It will tell you what to do and where to go and how to BE. Just let go. For example, this past weekend I was at a party and knew 0.02% of the attendees (both of whom I had just met!). I could easily have justified hanging out on the couch for the evening observing the crowd and listening to the music, but the music was soooo dance worthy and my body couldn't help but groove a little here, sway a little there. I let go of the self criticism and judgement and just started to move. Within moments I was at full speed and honestly enjoying myself.

The intuition to let go, enjoy, and experience wasn't a conscious thought, or a voice in my head nor did it even come to me in words. It was a feeling of "rightness." As in "This is where I'm supposed to be." By just letting go into the moment, I released fear, judgement, tension, thought and became present for the experience.

Now that I'm becoming more conscious of my intuition and inner guidance I want to work it out like a muscle and use it! I suggest you give it a try and do the same. See where it takes you! I'll see you on the dance floor ;)

much love, Natanya

Its All About Vibration

Yesterday I was listening to an Abraham-Hicks seminar and a women asked them to comment on the topic of food. What they answered gave me pause. In fact, it was an "A-ha" moment and culmination of many topics of interest to me lately including metaphysics, vibrational energy, raw food, and more.

What Abraham said was based on these premises. We are all vibrational beings and higher vibrations feel better to us than lower vibrations. As with everything else in our world, food also has a particular vibration. Of course, fresh organic, raw food vibrates at a much higher frequency than dead flesh or processed  foods. This we know from Kirlian images but more importantly from the way we feel after eating. What is significant as well is that the leading-edge scientific community is theorizing that at the basis of our world, beyond the atoms and the quarks, the core is vibrating energy! AGAIN: Modern physicists are discovering that the world is made up of vibrating energy. I recommend watching the thrilling TED talk by Brian Greene, author of The Elegant Universe for some mind blowing evidence. http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/251

Now back to the food: By eating foods with a higher vibration, it is like thinking better feeling thoughts-we are raising our own vibrations and attracting more of what we desire to us. It is unsurprising the way all of these aspects of nature work together in perfect harmony, yet none-the-less delicious! 

much love, 

Natanya